Now I get it. The race I was running today was mental. I know, no race. But what that means to me is that I was doing mental work today, not physical. Yes, running is physical, but I am learning that it is a workout for your mind, soul, and psyche, too. That is my lesson for today. Yatahe.
What a difference an hour makes. Since I am technically on Spring Break (the "break" part is euphemistic since I have kids) today, I got up an hour later to do my run. Turning the corner out of my subdivision, the moon on my right and the salmony-pink sunrise on my right. Lacy sepia and icy-silver trees outlining the horizon. Gorgeous. Blue sky, not a cloud in sight.
And thank goddess that it was because today was an especially tough run. Not for any particular reason, just that my whole body felt like lead and it was tough to keep pushing each step of the way. Nothing "light" about me today. I am still tired. But I did it. And I am glad I did. I feel better on the days I run. But it is so hard to get up and get going. At least it was this morning. I made myself get up and go. And I am so glad I did. Once I am out the door it's fine. AND, I saw THREE people out this morning. I never, and I mean never in all 4 weeks, see anyone out. Not a soul. Then today, three! I got to nod and say "morning" just like I belonged there...I felt for a moment a tiny kinship. Fellow exercisers. Oooh. Then I get over it and concentrate on my pacing, my footfalls. And I listen to music. I could not get through this without music. Not yet.
And on my way driving home, feeling more tired after a day of teaching than I have in a loooong time, it suddenly occurred to me that although I am wiped out, I still feel better on the days I run. Better how? I am not sure. It is a subtle thing. More energy over the course of the day? Perhaps. Happier? Perhaps. Calmer? I think. There is no one thing I can put my finger on just yet. I just know that I feel better on those days. I was also busier than I have been in a long time the past couple of days. I have a student teacher, which means I am teaching both my classes and teaching her, too. And somehow I am both drained and energized by that. It wears me out, but in the best of ways. Tired, but happy. Not unlike the days I run. (There's a lesson there somewhere...) Oh, and I drank a huge glass of water after my run rather than ignoring the fact that I was thirsty. Progress can be measured in sips sometimes. Sips and steps.  Shoes and a book. "Easy, light, smooth and fast." Or like you are chasing your child who has run into the street. Barefoot running. All topics that have been floating around in my running-obsessed head all weekend.
I love a good book recommendation, and this is no exception! "Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall has definitely hit my favorites list. Not just because it's about running, but for the story that it tells. I LOVE a good story. This just happened to also hit my current obsession. And it really made me think about how I run, which shoes I wear, etc. I know I will not buy into the whole super cushy technologically advanced running shoe concept. Thankfully my new shoes fit with that goal. They are light, and in fact are the reason that I read this book. My favorite track/cross country coach told me to read this book when I went to ask her if my shoes were too light. (They are so light I thought perhaps I made a huge mistake. Just shows how ingrained the shoe philosophy marketed by the industry is - even in non-runners!) She reassured me, but also briefly summarized the newest school of thought on running shoes. Which brings me to my next point: I finally worked up the courage to try my new shoes. After I laced them up nice and tightly, they worked beautifully. Of course being less padded I felt the ground more. But in a good way. I could clearly feel when I was hitting the ground incorrectly. Put simply, if I did it wrong it hurt my right foot. Heel strike = pain. Non-heel strike = no pain. Even a dummy like me can figure that out. And then I am also working on the whole "Easy, light, smooth, fast, run like your child just ran into traffic" posture and form. Without an expert to actually guide me I have to rely entirely on how I feel. And I am not racing. I am just barely jogging. Although I have to say that I am proud that in total I ran over 1 mile this morning. Probably 2/3 running/jogging and 1/3 walking. Although it is still in spurts, the running part is getting longer. But it was still really hard to get out of bed. And my heel still hurts. But I am proud of my progress so far. And so glad I actually did something for once instead of just dreaming about it. Doing feels so much satisfying than dreaming. Who knew!! (Have I mentioned that I looked ahead and by the end of next week I will be running 2 miles without stopping? Scary!! Okay, fine, good scary. Take your fear and nervousness and call it excitement instead and you can do just about anything.) Cassiopeia, Orion, one of the dippers. Stars were out in force this morning for my run. Still cold, not as much as Wednesday. I still have to give myself a pep talk to get out of bed. "You can do it!" But it works, and I get up and go. Once I am out of bed it's not so bad. "Best Pace" today, too!! Not too shabby. Especially since the pace to beat was still from the very first day! I am still sort of chicken to try my new shoes. I have been wearing them around the house, but I am worried they are a tad big. One of these days I'll just have to go for it. Every day is closer to my goal. Every day a little bit better. Good morning today, good run. Happy. Now I have to wonder what next week will bring....hope it's all good! (PS - I think I can run 1/4 mile at a time now! Progress is measured in steps.)
First day of Spring and it was 14 degrees when I went for my run/walk this am! I wore long underwear under my leggings and good thing I did. It was so cold that my pinkies and the backs of my hands were getting cold through my gloves! I had to keep my hands in fists to be warm enough. But the sky was clear and the stars were out. I loved it. Good run, did not hurt, no stitch in my side. I am so glad I got out of bed and went.
On the other hand, my heel hurts even more than before today, although not during my run. I am seriously afraid that I will have to go to the doctor and he will say to take it easy and not run. In which case I'd have to start all over and lose my momentum!! JUST when I decide to finally do this, THIS is what happens? UGH. And then I tell myself that the fear of something is often worse than the thing itself. And not to panic. Roller coaster in my mind. My husband says I could still do the elliptical, but it's not the same. I enjoy the early morning runs by myself and I actually look forward to that part. (Getting out of bed not so much.) Once I am out the door it's great! Also, I am trying to break in my new running shoes by wearing them around the house this evening. Two reasons for this: to see if my heel feels better, and to break in the shoes before I wear them for actual running. I may take them for a walk later if I get my courage up. We'll see. Might even take the dog if I dare. (And then I could see if her pulling was actually part of the cause of the "injury.") Finally, I did eat much better the past couple of days, so maybe that makes a difference in a good run. I am not going to start listing what I eat as that is just one thing too much. But I'll keep track in my mind, more or less. Roller coaster indeed. Up and down, up and down. I can't wait to see it start to get lighter each morning as I run. Although dawn never really comes at 5 am...  So I got new shoes. <-- there they are. (Why were all of the choices so neon?) I got them yesterday but was too chicken to try them on my run this morning. Instead I am going to hit up the track coach again for advice. My one and only hang-up? They are SO lightweight. Should they be that light? Is there enough support? They feel great on my feet but I am still not sure. (Plus extra room in the toe...I'm unsure about that.) I am afraid to try them out because once I wear them I can't take them back. See. Told you I was chicken. Here I am disbelieving my own self again. Sheesh...
Tooth hurt (cold air), heel hurt, freezing!, got a slight stitch in my side. But I warmed up pretty quickly, breathed through the stitch, and.....ran more than I walked. That is in italics because I am so excited about it. Running time 14:36-ish. Shorter overall distance, but I am happy that I actually ran, okay jogged, more than I walked!! I am getting there. Plus I have lost two pounds or so since the last time I weighed myself, which was a week or so ago, maybe a tad less. It was hard to get out of bed, even harder to walk straight into the wind once I was out of the shelter of the house. And yet I also look forward to this. Rather than dread run days I look forward to them. Oddly enough. Lead legs somehow inspire me to push just a bit further...get to the next mini marker I set in my mind. I feel pretty good all things considered. And I am pretty proud of myself.
Two weeks down! Yes! I have thought about running for so long now that it feels really great to actually be doing it. Granted, I am not that fast yet, and not running steadily the entire time yet. But I am getting there. Today was my "best distance" according to the app. Sadly, my "best time" was the very first time. You know, the time I hurt myself. Figures.
Today was not bad weather-wise. At least the pavement was dry, so no slipping. That's something. On the other hand my legs felt like lead. I really had to push myself the last few minutes. Of course, a sausage biscuit for breakfast and a piece of cake for dessert may not have helped.... So I guess I know what the next stage in this challenge is. Keeping track of what I eat and see how it affects my running. Sounds like a blast. Or not. But it might be another kick in the butt that I need. Looking for  <-- My boys and me a couple years ago. How quickly they grow. Aren't they cute? And they say the darnedest things. Take, for instance, when my oldest, who is seven, asked me why I have two tummies. Really. (Yes, he can be a smartass. I'm actually kind of proud that he is.) Yes, B, I need to exercise. I need to take care of myself so you will know how important and precious you are, we all are.
Today's run was a little on the treacherous side. As in, I almost fell on my rear twice! Ice under the snow does not make for easy running conditions. So I am sure my time was a bit slower than normal. Oh well. Also my phone did not charge all the way and I was worried that there would not be enough battery for both Pandora and the running app. But as luck would have it the battery ran out right as I got to my driveway on the way back! Also, it was FREEZING cold. Brrrr....an hour later when I got in the car to go to work the temp said 25! It was windy, and my legs took the brunt of the cold. I only wore a pair of leggings. But every day up until today that has been fine. On top I wear a t-shirt, a sweatshirt and a windbreaker. Oh, and earband and gloves. I cannot tell you how happy I will be when I do not have to layer like that! Anyway, I froze on my bottom half. BUT, and this is the biggie, I did not let any of this stop me. I mean, it was really, hard getting out of bed. Probably that was the hardest part - turning off the alarm and standing up. However, stepping outside into freezing temperatures will wake you up in a hurry. Instead of wanting to turn around and quit it actually made me anxious to get started. And as for it being slippery, I guess I am like my mother. Once I get something in my head I am not going to let pesky details stop me. I can work around just about anything. (Which goes both ways, if I really don't want to do something, I can get around it pretty easily too.) One of my goals in this process is to learn how to dig deep and keep going, and every day I get up and out the door I am one step closer to that. So although today was tough - at certain points my whole body felt like lead that I was trying to drag around - it was also a great experience. It was cold but beautiful. At one point a car passing cast my shadow on the frosty trees, and it was just me, running along. I wish I could have taken a picture of that. I loved how that felt. There will always be obstacles: cold weather, low phone battery, slippery pavement, hurting feet, not enough time, etc. The question is whether I will let these hold me back or will I learn to see them for what they are - stepping stones. What is this here to teach me? | AuthorLife, like my house, is messy. It's a journey, and I would rather not take time out of it just to clean. Show me your secret self, with all your imperfections. That is where the true beauty is. ArchivesJuly 2013 Categories |
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